Gaslighting--A Sociopath's Favorite Tool

The psychological phenomenon known as gaslighting has become a colloquial term to describe a form of mental abuse where a dominant individual manipulates a weaker person's sense of psychological well-being to undermine the victim's mental stability. It is the manipulation of external reality to make someone doubt their sanity.

The term derives from the popular 1944 American film entitled Gaslight--based on a 1938 British stage play. Frenchman Charles Boyer plays the sociopathic husband of the psychologically frail Ingrid Bergman. This memorable film portrays a husband's attempt to destroy his wife's sanity by manipulating her perception of reality, so he can steal her jewels.

Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman

Sociopaths instill a high level of anxiety and confusion to disorient their victims. Information is twisted and spun by them so victims begin to doubt themselves. Targets lose faith in their ability to make judgments and become insecure about their decision-making abilities.

Gaslighting describes an antisocial personality disorder that relies on deception, denial, mind games, sabotage, isolation, and destabilization. It is a form of narcissistic abuse that occurs in all types of relationships and every walk of life. This syndrome is often associated with marital relationships, but anyone can be a victim. Gaslighting can be seen in abusive parent-child relationships and in the workplace with an aggressive boss brow-beating his employees. It is mental bullying that can escalate into physical violence. These narcissists are puppet masters who often manipulate people for their own personal gain or to play twisted power and control games.

Gaslighting is a deliberate and progressive method of covert control that imposes a form of psychosis on its victims. Brainwashing, interrogation, isolation, and torture are all forms of psychological warfare used by the military, intelligence agencies, law enforcement, and terrorist organizations. On any level, it is a human and civil rights violation. 

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For more detailed information on gaslighting and a link to The National Domestic Violence Hotline, view the following link: http://www.thehotline.org/2014/05/what-is-gaslighting/

Looking Evil in the Face

In act one of Shakespeare's Macbeth, the idea that guilt shows on a person's face is a motif that runs throughout the play. Lady Macbeth warns her husband early on "Your face, my thane, is as a book, where men may read strange matters." She advises him to "...look like the innocent flower, but be the serpent under't."

Macbeth has a conscience - Lady Macbeth doesn't. By the end of act one, he tries to take her advice, "False face must hide what the false heart doth know." A person with a conscience cannot pull that off - unfortunately, a sociopath can. By the end of the play, King Macbeth has become a serial killer, through his henchmen, of men, women, and children.

Cesare Lombroso

The idea that criminal traits can show on a person's face gained popular acceptance near the end of the nineteenth century. An Italian criminologist and physician named Cesare Lombroso was credited with the theory "...that some types of people are closer to our primitive ancestors than others." He utilized the work of Pierre-Paul Broca to create this "new science" of criminal anthropology which relied upon facial measurements and anomalies of the skull, face, and body to determine who was a criminal type and who was not.

Broca believed in the concept of the born criminal who was a "throwback to earlier hedonistic races." In the twentieth century, this theory was strongly reinforced in the popular culture through movies, dime novels, pulp fiction, radio mystery shows, and television crime dramas. Rather than scientific, these ideas broke along racial, ethnic, and religious lines more often than not. The Nazis made great use of this junk science which they proudly documented in the last century.

Today, crime science has reliable and irrefutable tools like fingerprints, DNA analysis, and chemical and fiber labs to help catch and convict sociopathic killers. The trouble is that someone must lose their life before any of this science can be put to work.

Understanding "the construction of the mind" simply by looking at someones physical traits does not work. Sociopaths who kill usually look normal and blend into the background, so their behavior often requires psychological profiling before they are caught. Regrettably, profiling only becomes more accurate as the body count rises.

Toxic Behaviors--Recognizing Sociopaths

One in twenty-five people is a sociopath. These are people with an instinctual ability to exploit weakness and vulnerability. Sociopaths read and study their victims--this is their great advantage over us. They know us better than we know them. Their propensity to exploit weakness is their hidden skill. Once they target their prey, their victims are compromised. People who can see through a sociopath’s deceptions are avoided or eliminated. Discovery is the last thing they want.

But this speaks to them. What about us? Why do so many of us seem vulnerable to sociopaths? One answer may be that many of us have a mild to moderate affinity for danger and a hunger for excitement to punctuate our otherwise mundane lives. Many people enjoy controlled risks and love cheap thrills they can get an emotional rush from and then return to the safety of our homes. Vicarious experiences from action and thriller fantasies on the silver screen, to riding the latest and greatest amusement park rides, fill this void for most of us.

Leonardo Dicaprio in The Great Gatsby.

 
American pop culture presents a high-octane lifestyle of the rich and famous, often fueled by drugs, alcohol, and conspicuous wealth that create an unrealistic expectation for success that most Americans can never hope to achieve. We idolize famous actors, successful athletes, dubious celebrities, and people with money. We long for our own sense of celebrity--anything to quell the routine boredom of our conventional lives. We hunger for excitement, so most of us are willing to take the occasional risk and let down our guard.

Part of our American folklore informs us that dangerous people are charismatic. Going for the bad boy seems like a coming-of-age ritual for many young women in our culture--the proverbial moth attracted to the flame. How many intelligent women get over their heads in relationships with men who aren’t as smart because they perceive the man to be exciting, sexy, or notorious? The answer is simply too many. These relationships often become controlling, degrading, and violent. Sometimes, they become fatal.
 
Everyday life is routine and tedious much of the time, and we are creatures of habit. So every once in a while, many of us like to step out of our hum-drum lives and relax our defenses. Predators know this. When someone or something doesn’t seem right, people should go with their instincts and not ignore the warning signs.

Here are ten traits of sociopaths to watch for:

1. Sociopaths don’t have a conscience.

2. They suffer from attachment disorder.

3. They are easily bored and need continual stimulation.

4. They are not comfortable in their own skin.

5. They are absolutely self-involved and high-strung.

6. They tend toward hypochondria and seek pity to manipulate others.

7. They are not team players.

8. They show unremitting self-interest.

9. They use and abuse people with impunity.

10. They are narcissists who know the words but not the music of life.

(Source unknown.)

Sociopaths make full use of social and professional roles which provide a ready-made mask. Many of us are irrationally influenced by people in positions of authority or in uniform. Conventional wisdom insists that You can’t judge a book by its cover, but people do so routinely. We have all heard and seen news reports of police, teachers, clergymen, and childcare providers who abuse the trust placed in them. Their roles or the masks they wear constitute their protective coloration or camouflage.

Serial killer Gerald John Schaefer became a teacher after college but was fired for “totally inappropriate behavior” by the school’s headmaster. Next, he tried to get into the priesthood and was quickly rejected. Then, he became a policeman. Each of these authoritarian roles would have placed Schaefer in a position of power to exploit and abuse people.

As a patrolman, Schaefer picked up two teenage girls who were hitchhiking on July 21, 1972--one seventeen and the other eighteen. He took them to a secluded place in a remote wood, tied them to a tree, and threatened to kill them or sell them into prostitution if they tried to escape. He had to answer a police call on his radio and left. When he returned, the girls had escaped and made their way to the local police station, the same station where Patrolman Schaefer worked. He was arrested and posted bail. Two months after his release, he pulled the same stunt. He abducted Susan Place--age seventeen--and Georgia Jessup--age sixteen. Schaefer tortured, murdered, and buried them on Hutchinson Island, Florida.

Most people readily accept the superficial trappings of authority unquestioned. Too often the danger signs are there, but people choose to ignore them. When they finally see what’s behind the mask, it is often too late.

Ghost of a Soul (Part Four of Four)

Charles Manson

The integration of mind, body, and soul is the business of growing up human. Our notions of right and wrong become established as our conscience develops in childhood. The Golden Rule of  "Do unto others - as you would have done unto you" travels well across many religions and cultures around the globe. This may be the guiding principle that grounds us to society and binds us to other people.

Dr. Martha Stout, Ph D, a clinical psychologist and faculty member in the department of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, has convincing data to support her belief that ninety-six percent of the population has a conscience and some attachment to other humans. Fully four percent of the population are not inhibited or encumbered by conscience and suffer from attachment disorder - the inability to relate to people in meaningful and lasting ways. These people go through the motions of life without fully participating in it. It is as if they are absent from their own lives.

Their emptiness gnaws away at them from the inside. Unexposed, it is fed by a need to dominate and control others to meet their egocentric ends. Life becomes a power play where "winning" means everything. Dr. Stout makes the keen observation that "If all you had ever felt toward another person were the cold wish to 'win,' how would you understand the meaning of love, of friendship, of caring?"

Ted Bundy

Sociopaths are preoccupied with themselves. Their narcissism is compounded by their lack of feeling for other people. Their social detachment can range from callous indifference to protracted dehumanization. They may play on our pity when the occasion calls for it, but their game is not getting our sympathy, it is drawing us into their web of influence to accomplish their own ends. 

Being master manipulators, when they have their prey in their clutches, the demon in them is aroused and all Hell breaks loose where they play out their God or Satan fantasies of omnipotence.
 
Dr. Stout's book, the sociopath next door (sic), suggests ways people - young women in particular - should deal with the sociopathic personality. I have adapted them below to reduce her list of thirteen to ten.

1. Accept that some people literally have no conscience. It's not your fault!
2. Don't let preconceived notions of people's roles (doctors, teachers, clergy, policemen, family, etc) interfere with your instincts. Listen to your inner voice. If something doesn't seem right or feel right about a person, don't ignore it.
3. A series of broken promises, neglected responsibilities, or misunderstandings are warning signs. Strike three and you're out!
4. Question authority! (related to #1) Blind obedience is dangerous. Dr. Stanley Milgram from Yale University conducted the famous "Authority Compliance" study in 1961-1962. He discovered that "at least six out of ten people will blindly obey to the bitter end an official looking authority in their midst." In this case, a "researcher" in a white lab coat clutching a clipboard.
5. Suspect over-exaggerated flattery or concern for others called "counterfeit charm." It often signals an "intent to manipulate."
6. Don't play their game. Avoid contact or communication with them and document everything.
7. Question their appeals for pity, and curtail your need to be polite or to speak with everyone. 
8. Don't try to save them. Their behavior is not your fault, unless you enable them.
9. Never be a party to a sociopath's deceptions or help him/her conceal their true nature. If you do, from that moment on, you are ensnared in their web.
10. Defend your personhood and your mental health. People who seek to diminish you have an infinite capacity to inflict harm and damage at your expense. Get some help!

John Wayne Gacy

Sociopathic Charm (Part Three of Four)

People labeled as sociopaths are often superficially described as charming. Even after their outrages have been discovered, many people seem dumbstruck, despite the evidence. It is part of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde nature of their personality disorder that enables them to deceive other people so easily. They are natural actors because deception and manipulation are second nature to them.

Sociopaths are people with an uncanny ability to access weakness and vulnerability. They know us better than we know them. They read and study their victims - this is their great advantage. Their propensity to exploit our weaknesses is their hidden skill; once they target their prey, their victims are compromised and defenseless. People who recognize or see through a predator's deceptions are assiduously avoided. Discovery is the last thing a sociopath wants.

But that speaks to them. What about us? Why do so many of us seem vulnerable? As with many things in life, there is no easy answer.  One explanation may be that most people have a mild affinity for danger and a hunger for excitement to punctuate their otherwise mundane lives.

Most people enjoy "controlled" risks. We love cheap thrills we can get an emotional rush from and then return to the safety of our homes. Vicarious experiences from action and thriller fantasies on the silver screen, to riding the latest and greatest amusement park attractions, fill this void for many of us. Still, others prefer creating murder and mayhem in the guise of video games in the privacy of their own homes, or living vicariously through the exploits of their sport heroes.

American pop culture presents a high octane lifestyle of the rich and famous, often fueled by drugs, alcohol, and conspicuous wealth, that creates an unrealistic expectation for success which most Americans can never achieve. We idolize famous actors, successful athletes, and people with money. We long for our own sense of celebrity. Anything to quell the incipient boredom of our conventional lives. We hunger for excitement, so most of us are willing to take the occasional risk.

Part of our American folklore informs us that dangerous people are charismatic. Going for the "bad boy" seems like a coming of age ritual for many young women in our culture - the proverbial moth attracted to the flame. How many intelligent women get into relationships with men who aren't as smart as they are because the man may be perceived as exciting, sexy, or notorious? The answer is "Too many!"

Often, these guys undermine other people's faith in themselves with a technique called "gaslighting," a term derived from the movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer - a husband tries to make his wife go insane by manipulating her self-doubt. It has since become a term used in clinical psychology. When someone or something doesn't feel right to you - go with your instincts - don't ignore warning signs.

Another thing that makes people vulnerable is that we are irrationally influenced by a person's appearance, especially people in positions of authority and in uniform. Our conventional wisdom insists that "You can't judge a book by its cover," but we do this routinely.

Sociopaths make full use of social and professional roles which provide a "ready made mask." Most people seldom look behind the mask, and they readily accept the superficial trappings of success. Women need to be more discerning in their personal lives and take off their blinders. Don't be an enabler and a party to your own emotional and physical destruction. Passivity is what sociopaths thrive on.

The Two Faces of Evil - Identifying Sociopaths (Part Two of Four)

Broadly defined, a sociopath is a person without conscience - a person who does not experience guilt like most people. Sociopathy is a "non-correctable disfigurement of a person's character." In its extreme manifestation - it leads to psychopathic behavior, the subtext of my next book The Rainy Day Murders.

In my last post, I cited a statistic from Martha Stout's fascinating study, the sociopath next door (sic). She convincingly states that one in twenty-five people are sociopaths - that equates to four percent. Of that segment of the population, roughly twenty percent are behind bars. What of the other eighty percent? Where do they hide?

The answer is chilling - at home, at work, and at large! The successful achievers of this group might go into high finance, high government office, the board rooms of corporate America, and of course, the military. These are high-octane professions where conscience is not a part of the collective dialogue - failure is not an option - their game is not culpability - it is winning at all costs.

Most garden variety sociopaths do not play out their schemes on so vast a stage. At work, they harass and intimidate their co-workers with mean spirited mind games - people in positions of petty authority are known for this. At home, they extract their pound of flesh behind closed doors - usually secure in the knowledge that the fear and shame of their victims will insure their family secrets. Many sociopaths are known for their ability to charm and deceive people. How do we recognize these predators before they do us serious harm?

Here are ten traits to look for. If three or more seem to apply, watch yourself:

• Sociopaths are narcissists who know the words but not the music of life.
• Something is missing from their "genetic marbling." They suffer from attachment disorder.
• They are easily bored and need continual external stimulation.
• They are not comfortable in their own skin.
• They are absolutely self-involved and high-strung.
• They tend toward hypochondria and "pity plays."
• They are not team players.
• They show unremitting self-interest.
• They use and abuse people with impunity.
• They are manipulators.

Other than that, they look just like the rest of us. Why are sociopaths and psychopaths so often described as charming? Look for the answer in my next post. It may surprise you.